The Purple Cow

Back in my college days I remember taking an acquaintance of mine out to celebrate his 21st birthday. There was only one problem. He didn't like beer, hard liquor made his stomach hurt, and most cocktails made him "dizzy." He was a real piece of work. Picture Kyle's nerdy cousin with glasses from South Park.

Unwilling to drink beer, and unable to line shots up along the bar in the traditional 21st B-day fashion, my friend asked for a drink suggestion that he could "handle." So being the great friend that I was I ordered a lager for myself, and a Purple Cow for my good friend. He loved it!

Having never been intoxicated before, after the sixth Purple Cow he assumed that he must be and started acting crazy. To make a long painful story short, he made a pass at a girl only to find out that her football playing boyfriend was standing directly behind her. He then insulted the boyfriend, at which point he was given a black eye and a pair of broken glasses.

To add insult to injury he was tossed out by the bouncers as the football player was a regular and best friends with one of the bartenders. On the way home being sore and bruised, my poor nerdy friend then threw up his Purple Cows from all the excitement and complained about how he was going to have one heck of hangover in the morning.

He didn't realize until a week later that a Purple Cow is only grape juice and milk and that he'd thrown up simply from drinking too much of each. This is after he'd spent the week bragging about how hammered he'd gotten on his B-day and about the guy he'd fought.